Prestidigitations

'Why we lie' is such an insightfully good read. I must say I'm quite amazed sometime at my genteel ears at fishing out a good read from a cacophany of whispers at Kinokuniya.

Egalitarians don't create classes. And I'm proud not to be one. I'm going off soon to a society that has a caste system as volatile as muons in space. Yet as long as you're a growing, enthusiastic, tenacious little animal, your direction is only upwards.. in ZH's words, literally - towards success.

And so as it would seem. This xenophobic socialite would continue to surreptitiously deposit corms on the blogosphere.

So where should this corm go today.... hmmmm

Received 'The Letter filled with NUS goodies' today. It had a bland exterior, masterfully masquerading the exigencies of the documents contained within. There wasn't even a stamp or postal signage. It was just bland... with an address... and congratulations.. blablabla.

Discovered or rather... was tendentiously presented by my subconcious mind of the need to grow as a person. It would seem that I have achieved this to some extent. Or perhaps I'm just deceiving myself. ahahhaha. One way or the other. Life has got to be lived to be understood.

Now

The here and now. How fleetingly eternal...

It has been 3 weeks now since I came back from Sabah. Little have I accomplished. Yet much distance have I traversed. I must be blind. Either that or I must be presumptiously tap dancing on sacred ground... and an overbearing bolt of ions be delivered to my mail box soon.

So let's see... objectively speaking a few things were accomplished after all. Yen yen's house has been exorcised by yong yong. I had a mamak outing with Wilson who has updated me with the new found excitement in his life of becoming one step closer to his dream of working in Pixars. I had a little tea drinking ceremony with SC and SJ. Paid a visit to bea utiful g ates to teach some disabled youth English for SPM. Collected stuff from LY with a little divine help from WCW. Finished affairs with school, almost about to submit applications to AI MST and Mo nash when a durian appeared right beneath my nose hair. An offer to study Bioengineering at Nus. Some part in me found this a calling, while some other part in me felt as if I was choosing a very unprestiguous course. And so I'm caught in ambivalence. Am I so insecure to the extent that I need to take a university course to quell my insecurities? Am I so afraid of falling that I need to buy insurance before beginning a climb? Even if I need to work half my life off to purchase the insurance first? Evidently the problem is in my head. WM my good neighbour offered some good advice... we humans of today know little of what will happen tomorrow. So why not live for today... and take the course because you like it? Things that look good... one does not necessarily need to take. Wm gave the analogy of KT. Although girls adored him for his good looks and grades, somehow because of his perceived SOR girls can't feel secure with him. A man must be secure... KS gave caution to taking bioengineering by opening the crystal ball of experience for my sampling... which heightened my insecurities... I must grow or die.

Coming up this month... Templer park thingy... Marshall work... studying for Japanese scholarship exam... going for trip around the world? application for course changes with NuS? The world is an oyster that at the moment......is a bit too raw to my taste...